"The mighty baobab is king of the savannah, punctuating the skyline."

I read the above quote in a travel guide to The Gambia and wanted to laugh hysterically. Perhaps this travel guide writer and I have seen different baobab because alll of the baobabs I've ever seen look a little ridiculous. Maybe "quirky" is a nicer word. Yes, a baobab is enormous, but that is not the same thing as mighty. It has a huge fat trunk but limbs that end in twiggy little branches. Its round, green, fuzzy fruits have long stems and dangle throughout the tree like Christmas ornaments. I once ate a ham, pineapple and duck sauce crêpe and it was the most delicious crêpe I ever ate. That's what baobab trees are like.

I continued flipping through the travel guides and must now warn you against taking the following advice:

"The terminal for the ferry to Barra, with its endless queues of lorries, the industrious hum of cargo being loaded and discharged, passengers boarding and disembarking and the continuous chatter of patiently waiting customers, is worth experiencing."

The above statement is riddled with falsehoods, and the falsehoods are these:

1. "queues"
2. "industrious hum"
3. "boarding and disembarking" (technically these processes are happening, but "disembarking," connotes order and civility. "spewing forth from the ferry" would be more accurate)
4. "chatter"
5. "patiently waiting"
6. "is worth experiencing"

The truth is:

1. "endless...lorries"
2. "cargo being loaded and discharged"
3. "passengers"
4. "continuous"
5. "customers"

Here are the guidebooks' opinions of the two places I love most:

• Basse : "no actual attractions."
• Fatoto : "'end of the world' type atmosphere"  "forgotten-by-time atmosphere" "it's a sleepy little place"

Here are Basse's attractions:

• The movie-poster-esque paintings on the side of that building
• The man who sells crazy Fula hats from Sierra Leone
• The London Disco Night Club *still unlocated
• The two bars serving "very drinkable" JulBrew
• The Swedish newspaper warehouse for bean sandwich vendors *still unlocated
• The strange fruits sold in the market
• The secret yoghurt sold in the market
• The soft-serve ice cream shop

And while I haven't been to many villages besides Fatoto, I wouldn't say it's more end-of-the-world, forgotten-by-time, or sleepy than any other village. Unless those adjectives were going to convince friends to visit me, in which case, yes, it is all those things.


Here is the guidebook advice for encounters with children. Follow this advice and I will throw rocks at you.

"Most will want a little something -- be it your plastic water bottle, a pen or some sweets. It's difficult to give one without a flood of others assuming you have an unending supply of whatever you're giving away. Still, you have to remember how little these children have and, especially up-country, how exciting it is to be given even small items that are a rare commodity in the local community."

I was amused to read, only four pages later, the following advice about encounters with monkeys:

"The authorities in The Gambia are trying to dissuade visitors from offerring food because in the long term it may cause monkeys to lose their fear of humans and they may develop a dependency on the handouts rather than hunting for roots, fruits and nuts in the wild. It may be worthwhile discussing these issues with your children before they get caught up in a situation where they just ache to offer a peanut or two."