"I hope there is not the head of a child inside."

Overheard...

Staffroom:

• “The Hindus are the ones who worship cows. They believe in cows.” (I like that cows are now something one can believe or disbelieve in)
• “You were all made to be sacrificed. You will all lack husbands on this Earth.” 
• [burp] “Thanks be to God.” 
• “Half bread will not be enough for me, for my worms.” 
• “Menacing is not actually good.” 
• “You will begin to think that maths is almighty.” 
• “You are a monkey. Very soon I will turn you into a lizard.”
• “The Fulas have magnetic hands.” 
• “Pray for a husband…otherwise we will easily lose you in the streets.”
• “That is your wisdom, but wisdom is relative.”

Morning assembly:

• “If you don’t want to be a liability to society, please work hard.” 
• “All play and no work makes Jack a stupid boy.” 
• “Lip shine is not positively improving your life.” 

The sign on the door to the science lab reads, “Let no one unacquainted with science entre here. By: Order.”

The motto of a nursery school, as read on a t-shirt: “Business before Pleasure.”

A student, passing me on the way to school, “Miss Jallow your bag is heavy. I hope there is not the head of a child inside.”