Day 2 of the wedding is the traditional wedding. This time, the bride would be coming to the groom's compound, so we got to watch some of the preparations.
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They're preparing rice in a way that makes it cous-cous-esque.
Served with sour milk. |
While I'm watching the cooks an unfamiliar toubab appears. She is Anna from Holland and she will be in The Gambia for a couple of weeks. After learning a few more details of her life ("I have always felt like I belonged in Africa, since I was a little girl..." "But then I married a Belgian") I leave with the trainees for Tanji (an adventure you read about last month) and we don't return until evening, by which time Anna is back at her hotel.
After dropping off a bag of fresh fish, fetching water and bathing we return to the groom's compound. I'd heard sounds of music and dancing when I'd left my house, but when we arrive everyone is sitting quietly and not-listening to music. After some moments of awkward standing about, we're brought to a room where a woman is slicing onions in one corner, a boy is brewing attaya in another corner, and everyone else is sitting and watching bugs swarm around a dangling light bulb.We take breaks from bug-watching to talk to each other, slap the bugs that have ventured to our ankles, and look through a stack of Musa's graduation photos.
When the room gets too hot, we go outside and watch more cooking.
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A vat of hot oil and rice.
Yum? |
As I start to wonder if anything's going to happen before I fall asleep, several cars arrive, horns honking. They stop in front of the compound, then continue driving. As far as I can see, no one leaves the cars. "The bride is here!" my tokora (the groom's younger sister) shouts. We follow her and a couple of her friends along muddy moonlit paths to the compound where she claims the bride has been dropped off. Then:
- We stand around awkwardly in the dark.
- It starts to rain.
- We sit around awkwardly (surrounded by old women and children) on the porch.
- It stops raining.
- We're told, "The bride is not here."
- We return to the "wedding."
As Maimuna, or maybe her name wasn't Maimuna...As Somebody-Who-Might've-Been-Named-Maimuna said, "This is the culture of the Fula Futas; it is complicated. In the culture of
my Fulas the bride comes, the groom comes, they go in the house. But the Fula Futas...
your Fulas..."
Shortly after the non-arrival of the bride, the honking cars return and I again hear shouts of "the bride is here!" And again, the cars continue past the compound. This time, we don't follow. More people have been showing up at our compound and stomping-clapping-dancing has begun--the trainees and I inevitably get pushed into the circle for a turn. [I couldn't figure out how to upload my videos of the dancing before accidentally deleting them, but if you turn off the lights and then stomp your feet while clapping your hands, you'll see what you would've seen had the videos uploaded.]
Finally a car pulls up to the compound and stops. People swarm around the vehicle and it's only after much squeezing and then climbing up on the low wall surrounding the porch that I manage to take the photo below.
I thought I would catch a glimpse of the bride stepping out of the car, but someone explains that the bride won't get out until the groom's family has paid the bride's family five-hundred dalasis. I am assured that when she finally
does leave the car, my location will allow me a glimpse, but all I have a really good view of at the moment is a large bucket of water that has been placed next to the porch.
"Why is the water there?" I ask, wanting to learn the cultural significance behind
everything.
"For the bugs."
"For the bugs?"
Someone else laughs at this explanation, but does not offer a new one in return. As I watch, a steadily growing number of bugs fall into the bucket and drown; it seems the bucket of water is for the bugs after all. To pass the time, I film them. Perhaps it's best I lost those videos.
"The bride is still in the car?" I ask.
"No, now I think she is over there."
I squeeze my way over to the porch. If I stand on tip-toe, I can glimpse a figure draped in a white sheet. Luckily, I'm again given toubab-with-a-camera privelages and people tell other people to move out of the way until I have a front-row view.
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Normally the bride remains hidden, but one of the women says
"Remove the fabric. Just a little. So the toubab can take a picture." |
For a long time the bride sits on the porch. For a long time she is fanned by the women beside her. For a long time bugs swarm around the light bulb. For a long time people crowd around to see all this.
After the bride sits on the porch for a sufficient amount of time, she is brought into the house in the following way: she is carried piggy-back by a cousin of the groom who runs in a circle three times before walking into the house.
Other assorted people enter and leave.
Some announcer-type man with thick-rimmed glasses announces things while holding up the various complets the groom's family is giving the bride.
"What is the reason they give the bride complets?" I ask Somebody-Who-Might've-Been-Named-Maimuna.
"To make her happy."
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The nice part about the camera lights is that they allow you to see. The not-nice part is that actually, they don't allow you to see. |
Then: here comes the groom! He approaches slowly, but I don't know if that was tradition, or for the benefit of the camera crew.
Then he, too, takes his place on the porch formerly occupied by the bride.
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Luckily he's not covered by a sheet, leaving him and the men next to him free to use their mobiles. |
After a sufficient amount of time, he enters the house in the following way: he stands up and walks through the door.
Other assorted people enter and leave.
Then my tokara and I share a plate of particularly oily benichen.
Then I take this picture:
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Sarjo and Ousman |
People keep telling me to wait for dancing, but I feel steadily less-awake. After waiting long enough so that it doesn't seem like I just stayed for the food, I go home.
There was also a Wedding: Day 3, but I was already back at the transit house. I hear it was mostly prayers, followed by dancing.