Español!

For once I studied the correct foreign language. Before this afternoon, the only time I haven’t wished I’d studied French were during those handfuls of times when a bean sandwich would come wrapped in a piece of Spanish newspaper: “Mi abuelo y mi padre eran del Barça y es mi equipo tras la Real.” “Los expertos rusos, además, constatan que las reserves de las grandes companies, como TNK-BP, Lukoil, Yukos o Sibneft, son mayors de lo que se esperaban.” “CLASIFICADOS JUEVES, 29 SEPTIEMBRE 2005 GATOS GATOS BRITISH. 679-42-919”

Mr. K asks if I’ve seen Haggie. I assume this is because Mr. K would like to speak to Haggie. Actually, it is because Haggie would like to speak to me. The situation is this: the school has a new copier. It is actually a used copier, and it came from Spain. Mr. K. and Haggie seem to remember that I can speak Spanish. This is something I was once able to sort-of-do, but have not even sort-of done since junior year of high school.

We turn the machine on. “Espera, por favor” flashes across the display. I’m excited because I know this means, “Please wait” and maybe I’ll be able to help after all. Haggie would like the language changed to English. This doesn’t seem to be the modern, globally aware copier capable of that, but who knows, maybe. I find a menu that seems a likely candidate. Options include “Fecha/Hora” and similar changing-settings type things, but no “Lengua.” I fiddle around with the buttons some more, mostly because I’m amused that a Spanish copier has appeared in my life, until Mr. Kongira suggests we try copying something.

Success, nearly. One corner is a little cut off.

Try again.

Near success again.

Try again—and this time I realize that the real problem, the real reason they needed a Spanish speaker, is not that the copier no habla anglais, but that it has a habit of switching itself into fax mode (even though it’s not even connected to a phone line, because the school has none of those) and refusing to do anything unless a password is provided.

I fiddle some more, but now I don’t even know what words I should be looking for, in any language…eventually I tell them I will take note of the copier’s manufacturer and model and the next time I’m somewhere with internet I’ll see if I can find an instruction manual. This pleases them, and we leave the office.